I am
able to bludgeon a tetherball if I know exactly
where
it's swinging or hanging. I am able to retrieve
peanut
butter from a jar virtually without looking.
I
have it good.
She
doesn't have it good.
Her
cactus houseplant is constantly putting out.
Its
stalks are constantly dripping earwax, brooding.
In
trying to get away from it, she has
already
once hit her elbow on the ceiling fan.
Her
apartment is really mean-looking.
Strange
noises. A plumber visits her apartment
every
day of the week. The water pipes in my apartment
are
clement. My constantly pacing up and down
when
I feel overjoyed and/or fortunate only pleases those
who
live below me.
Her
restless pacing shapes no other message
than
'Fuck you' to the people who live
below
her and who understandably don't like
her
pacing.
She's
unlucky. Pervy house plant.
Non-understanding
neighbors.
Ceiling
fan.
She
should replace her cactus with a potato.
See,
this is why we should meet – I could give her
some
of my luck and lifeskillz.
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