WRITING JOHN WAYNE AND TELLING HIM HOW MUCH I THINK HE SUCKS

Discovered chugging the contents of a Nazi’s disposable diaper. Sucking with toilet plunger for a mouth to the great egg white blockage. Feeling like John Wayne crying on a mailbox. Had a whole stack of crib notes when taking the litmus test, but “I don’t want to talk to you, fuck off!” was the thankless response. A club foot planted on a slope, costing the town the groovy spectacle of a landslide. Captain Future straddling a rail gun doesn’t make for easy listening. Daft Punk should’ve written the score. A bear in a fountain bar realizes with a heartstopping start, with a hand lifted dramatically to an oval mouth, how he sucks at multitasking. The only modern social device the bear uses skillfully is a new flashy tool for interactive games called Snuggles™. Everything can’t be fulfilling but everything can be filling.