It Is Easier To Kill A Unicorn After A Line Of Coke

these are the things you’ve shot   you like being employed again   it is great   but these are the things you’ve shot   spiders androids subways intestines topless bars bras unicorns   but I’m running ahead of myself: first, shoot the spider’s wing for the paranoid billionaire before you call your career hot enough for him   you want her flightless   but she doesn’t fly   spiders don’t fly   and plus, it’s male   confrontations like these every tenth word feature the word ‘spreadsheet!’   second, capture the android’s breath before taking its life – it is valuable to your boss   you work for him and it’s amazing   you’re living in a cgi subway and you’re late always   you have extended lunches   now, crawl   crawl! crawl, bloody milkshake that you are   foam on tile doesn’t work but it’s amazing growing sticky on cgi rails   learn the internal crawl which is a valuable organ to your boss   headless corporate shootout: stationery industry on slippery slidey blotter   atomic bomb eraserhead   that destruction on the desk?   you didn’t kill it properly   its diet on blood and strawberry saved it   the unicorn did that you didn’t drown it when you were explicitly ordered to drown it   never heard such a lame excuse in my life: chances are you’re made of reflection and your mirror leaks   get out of my fancy bathroom where a solemn black man stands handing out towels and polishing shoes and listening to you snorting coke!   action figure!   success!   metrosexual toenails!   nail in the plastic coffin of your blister packaging   vanity!   they brought out a toy version of you and it is great   he listens to it telling jokes (respectively the black dude and the toy version of you – black dude listens, toy tells jokes)   they are lame   i.e. the jokes are lame   do you feel bad that a working man suffers because of them?   skyrocketing life is sprayed on the spectacles of the amazing man leaning backward in his chair sleeping with a paper stuck behind his spectacles waving above his forehead snoring with head tilted back mouth agape that tiny wiggling thing in back of mouth dry and crusty and not attractive and of course the paper   your boss   he/she/it/they/me   aids donor sleeping on the job