Thursday, March 29, 2012


Scooping shrimp from his gaping wound, the organ donor notices how, like all
things making their first egress, they greedily lick the bathroom darkness. Time
heals some wounds; but a mere clumsy hand can interrupt time, and if you're in
a time machine, it will stall, the slowing vortices attempting one last time to wring
from its petrol tank the build-up of unusual sugar. The wound now sees Magic
Johnson looming above it with a plunger, God with his tool controlling the
universe's contractions. Since this is the exquisite, but expected effect of the
utility, the shrimp all get erections. If your eyes always sat on stalks, everything
you see would also bear the exact appearance, shape, and would happen to have
the same dimensions and slicked with the same amount of veneer as – indeed
would not even be a replica it basically is the ketchup-stained Formica-planes of –
a bowling alley ... Down which the Batmobile cruises and dropping from its rear,
and arrayed behind it in such a fashion as to severely concern the shrimp, in
nature highly superstitious creatures, are black anal beads. From all the ensuing
bug-gasms, the patient's blood chips, a process that gives off weird lens flare and
Magic Johnson attempts to catch it with the universal Toilet Plunger. From the
countless hours in hospital watching infomercials, fitness and yoga programs, all
hosted by Octo-Mom and guest-starred by her abominable children, the organ
donor's blood has learned to curdle, and then to miraculously turn into a human-
shaped smoothie. This is does now, for being hospitalized is good: you meet
famous (dead) people, you see monstrous aberrations on television, there's
always a game console wedged between your cheeks, distending your face into a
meter-wide grin, and as an invalid you get manicures every five minutes,
anything you do will get you laid, and deep in your ears are the imaginary sounds
of lawn sprinklers. All your fingers are pinkies. You're extraordinarily,
overwhelmingly fit.

1 comment:

  1. A serious election calls for serious measures.Whether a large purchase of toilet plungers qualifies as serious is debatable, but it got our attention. Steve Radack, the pugnacious Republican county commissioner in the County of Harris, will pass out 1,000 toilet plungers to rally the conservative vote tomorrow.


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