Sunday, February 26, 2012

STREET FIGHTER II

With the many tiny holes in my skull, I'm known on Street Fighter II
for my 'cranial sneezes.' Not even the kicks of the young
transsexual Asian nun with the swastikas
taped over his/her nipples – a fighter driven by
guilty pleasures, all oriented toward antisocial ends,
a very sneaky creature to whose puerile amusement
every setback of an opponent panders – hard lollipop
feet in white gym socks moving faster than the eye can see
and creating these small gross welts wherever they land,
are as deadly. One character looks like Jerry Springer
and throws these weird punches with a Lego
arm, which suddenly breaks apart in many
bricks that melt halfway to their target,
salty necrosis, throwing-stars of hairy chicken wing lace.

Easy.

A very big baby whose character description in Wikipedia
is 'the Escape Artist' sits cooing and burbling in a milk crate;
fully employing its squid electronics, the baby complexly escapes.
I kill it forthwith with my encephalitic watering can.
For those unfamiliar with Street Fighter II, I invite
you to check out the Wiki entry for the ironically named
'Human Mortal'; it is the weakest character in the game
but because it's wearing a hazmat suit, it's only character on
Street Fighter II I can't defeat.

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