Swiss shoes are bottomless, and therefore a very relaxing and
comfortable environment. But they keep the time obnoxiously.
Their ticking is obnoxious. A peculiar ringing, like a ray gun fired
down a well. The OCD synchronicity of one's strides.
Anderson Cooper digs Swiss shoes; but he can't afford them.
Instead, his one foot is perennially planted in a cupcake. Which he
also digs. Cupcakes. And make no mistake.
I was a lonely kid just like Anderson motherfucking Cooper.
The lonely kid sees his fishbowl throbbing.
Lonely kids see such things. It's from putting odd objects in
their fishbowls. A symptom of their loneliness.
The world repays us this way: avenues meet this way.
Collision courses can be arbitrarily set, but only when
nothing around us happens or when we don't do anything.
Take the time the bookshelf came into violent contact with the antlers.
No one in the vicinity of the bookshelf OR the antlers had
been doing anything at the time. No one had been reading any
of the bookshelf's books.
Give me five minutes to commit cliched vices on the street corner.
See the slew of events I'd set off this way.
Every action has its reward. Oh, how I love the mathematics behind
tripping over an object in the road – a tricycle lying on its side
on the pavement, etc. - and falling on my mouth.
Just a year ago, I was an ugly baby growing in the back of a limo.
I wasn't conscious for the most part. But felt the drama of my development.
Each stem cell – snugly cored with a sleeping pill.
The drama of my monstrous slumber. My supermodel grandmother sitting in
the back with me, in her bikini. A Scientologist who shared Scientology's
bitter disdain for pepper spray. Who scratched all over, as if she had fleas.
Whose vision crawled under its flaming rash.
With knives and forks pinned into our eyes we may see in terms
of light years. The human cornea can arrange cutlery locally.
Such vision not surprisingly makes our eyes bleed.
Mild home items, still nefarious in how they bounce back
to their original locations after use. Spontaneously.
Without first waiting to be washed.
That is why our eyeballs mud up suddenly after eating so much,
and why, afterward, equally suddenly, we see the Millennium Falcon's long blue tire tracks.